KEEP ME SANE

2004-05-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

soon, im gonna sit for the last paper for midyear!
CHEERS. im was so looking forward to this. xD.
maths 1,2 was crap, more like a common-sense exam.
either there were too many numbers around,
or there just werent enough numbers to find answers out.
shit, screwd it upside down.

watched idols just now,
CLAY AIKEN WAS THERE. OH HELLLL HOTSHIT.
i must say he is growing more charismatic.
seacrest said he has got the most expensive haircut.
undoubtedly, i thought it looks damn good, especially on him. =D.
i love that git no matter what they say. =D

aight gonna mug for the final paper --phy/chem.
dont know how im gonna do it when its 1:30am now,
and im only about halfway thru chem not even touching phy yet.
screw em all. holidays holidays. ;)

2004-05-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

watched this spice siblings just now,
think cynthia koh's sucha bitch (as she always is).
bitch. bitch. bitch.

alright its all about maths now.
history was alrighty, didnt have the time to think though.
think they expected us to know the answer straight,
1hr for 5 essay-like questions.
to hell with the examiners,
ridiculous skyhigh expectations.

alright better start mugging now.
peaceout.

2004-05-09T02:19:00.000-07:00

am suffering from insomnia.
initially intended to sleep at 1030pm to 11pm then wake up to mug till morn.
feel fuckin tired but just cant get to sleep. thats the worst.
then intended to sleep again from 1am to 2am,
but cant fuckin, fuckin get to sleep.
OH JUST FUCK IT.

thought theres something funny going on in ma house.
alarm clocks aint ringing when they were supposed to.
feel uneasy all the time,
like someone out there's watching my every move.
maybe im just being paranoid.
but its weird, and now i cant fucking get to sleep.

was in the loo just now doing my very small business,
and saw the bath curtain move, like a finger's tracing it down the other side.
WHEN THERE AINT NOONE OUT THERE, NOT EVEN WIND.
i swear i saw it.
oh hell im getting quite scared recalling it now.
fugg.

2004-05-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

i cant believe myself.
tmr's ss examination.
and here im in the dead of the night,
visiting godiva's website.
facing those delicious looking bite-size chocolaties all wrappedup with gorgeous foiled paper.
needless to say, drooling helluva big time.
if only those to-die-for chumps were real.
if only i could dump them all into my mouth,
and feel the heavenly feeling of them melting slowly but significantly.
if only.

okay back to reality.
i swear ss is dead borring,
dozing off anytime from now.

2004-05-05T02:46:00.000-07:00

didnt attend school today,
its just revision, lessons were all taught.
so i thought i'd rather revise myself at home.
studied till 5am yesterday.
slept till 2pm today.
weird sleeping time.

diet as usual today.
and MARIGOLD yogurt sucked to high heavens.
it reads, Strawberry.
but the only thing that felt like it belongs to the strawberries were the seeds.
and the whole tub was the yogurt sauce, that taste somewhat like yam.
EWW. was forced to gobble the whole tub down as it was my only dinner yesterday. yikes.
Meiji's yogurt rock though.
felt like eating ice cream cos the sauce taste so good.
mm! =)

2004-05-04T12:24:00.000-07:00

its 3am [3.23am to be exact] in the morning,
and im still here muggin,
squeezing my braincells till dry.
cant believe tmr's the last day of class before MYE.
im laughing, holis in a months time! =D
im so already in holiday mood,
planning where to go, what to buy, fun actitives and so on.
but before all these arrive,
ive got to mug for stupid MYE.
ss for now, stiffed with boredom.

2004-05-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

ive just realised ive done the stupidest thing ive ever did, yesterday.
think ive got the thickest skull in the universe.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! -yanked hair out-
why did i ever, ever did that!?
shant mention anything here.
amy and cheralynn knows it though.
cries. =((.

2004-04-30T04:05:00.000-07:00

language paper 2 is over!
should be able to pass english.
and for the 1st time in ma life,
im confident of passing ..chena?! really.
i love how i was able to write all the hanyupinyin without any mentalblock in between.
woohooo! great start. =]

2004-04-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

its MYE! boo!
tryna make myself feel more tense and all about the exams.
-shivers.
okay i tried alright?

EL1 paper was averagely done.
the marker prolly fast asleep going through half of it.
CL1 paper was horrendously done.
the marker is confirmed to have a sweet nap toppedup with sweet dreams after reading the first paragraph.
fell asleep myself tryna find inspirations to write,
but no, wrote crap. crap, crap and crap. s'all.

im fuckking fat.
ate like helluva lot!
seafood pasta at pastamania.
all your fault amy, damn.
aiight i was part to blame as well for suggesting it. =X

2004-04-28T05:44:00.000-07:00

sprained my neck this morn.
thought of not attending sch cos the pain was freakin unbearable.
to the point of me wanting to throwup. yes that bad.
but the plan was cancelled --dont wanna miss no more of maths.
ate like a 1001 stuff.

tmr's MYE.
like so goddamned fast.
before i know it, im sitting for it again.
but somehow, this year just seemed different from the last.
there's no tension in the atmosphere of the coming exams.
nobody seems to give no shit.
and for me, it seems like its just another day.
funny how i used to get all uptight and stuff.
weirrd.

2004-04-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

funny how life suddenly seems so meaningless when one go on a diet.
it just turned dull, grey, borring.
goodnews is food are no temptations to me, now.
i guess its how the body is adapting to the on and off diet shit im at.
ah well, you know.
linda teo didnt come,
one thing to be happy about.
went for emaths tutorials after sch today.
feel so damn helluva hardworkin.
afterthat went to study at bk with jingxian and abigail.
study? yeah i got to know (finally) whats a noble gas. (oh shutup).
and we spent more than half the time having bonding sessions with each other.
just got no motivation to start anything. typical huh.

2004-04-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

was actually quite a fine day,
till this moron screwed it up.
the name's benny. frrreak.
this git came to the restaurant three wks ago.
guessed he didnt see me cos i was only working the weekends.
i think he thinks im a newcomer.
treating me like a new staff and all.
teaching me to do stuff, expecting me to report to him whatever i do.
OH PURLEASE. jus fuckoff and leave me alone.
irritating piece of dungface.
at first i didnt blame him, guessed its his way of communication.
till it gets a little too often, and a little annoying as well.
and when everyone doesnt have a problem in what i do,
HE, a 3weeks old worker has got a problem in my way of working.
and im like a 5months old worker here excuse me.
who is he, balls. who is he to teach me what to do? shitface.
its just so fuckin insulting.
thought i was the only one who had this problem,
till rushell came and said, "where is that fucking benny"
me - "died, why so pissed off?"
and she blah everything out "i dont like him! i dont need him to teach me what i do im here for two months already!"
same problem. muahaha.
heard that helen had the same prob too.
screwedup bas.
intended to fuck him off if he were to open that stinking mouth of his.
but nahh, wasted he didnt.
guessed he saw that ultra-duper black face of mine and thought it was wiser not to say anything.
that might just be one thing he's good at.

2004-04-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

just watched AMI.
thought jennifer hudson was the best amongst.
really good singer with perfect vocals. -thumbs up.
john stevens too, is a good singer.
and while everyone says his singing makes them drowsy,
i would say he belongs to the perfect, good-old-fashion classics category.
definitely pleasing to the ears. nice. =)
oh and fantasia rocks big time!
how i love that gurrrrl and her spunky character.
some freaks say she cant take critiques.
well i think she just have some ways or other to turn the critiques back on the person who contributed it.
you go girl! shes da bombbbbb.

2004-04-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

the weather's all fuckedup these days.
wonder what in the world is cookin' up there.
im baking.

just realised i know nothing,
nothing at all about chemistry.
am so, so dead.
exams in 16days time,
feeling so damn screwed.

2004-04-10T03:42:00.000-07:00

last day of workin with jaime.
gonna miss that gurl so so much.
but we'll keep in touch no matter what,
i know it. =)

other than this, nothing much happened in the weekends.
so erh, nothing to comment bout.

2004-04-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

heard from amy's sister's friend [ex-sacian] that mr quah is in the last stage of cancer.
hmm, although he did loadsa shit to me in the past,
still feel kinda sad that he's awaiting death, slowly.
i remembered the first time when he scolded me,
i sulked, and he went,
"make that face again and i'll give you one tight slap, your teeth will go flying over there".
that was when i was in sec1.
basket, my blood boils whenever i think of it.
i guess thats what you call retribution.
shits that he did to so many peeps,
he's paying for it.
the hard way.

rejoice in the lord, always, and again i say rejoice.

2004-04-05T01:50:00.000-07:00

finally learnt to change my garbage-like template.
thanks loads to my dearest cousin --mairebelle! and her patience. muacks.
went to vil'age for lunch in the noon.
ate like i never did before --
ovenbakedrice, lasagne, pizza, crepe+caramelbanana+choc icecream.
heaven sent! -slurps.
later, went to bugis, bought a top from FNT, Madina (Milano) lipstick [which includes a free lipgloss since its a relatively new brand. new but good.], and a black metal hairband filled with blue jewels. nice.
then cousin came to my house to teach me about template shits.

2004-04-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

school's all fuckedup today.
actually it wouldnt be half as bad if it wasnt for that
fucken pratface moron -- MRS LINDA TEO.
think there's more than just something twisted up there.
been yelling at me these days, i wonder why.
and today's no exception.
that madfuck screamed her head off at me just because
my table was connected to charlene's and i whispered to her.
yeah, when everyone was talking, she screamed, OF ALL PEOPLE, ME.
dung. why is it always me.

later, had this moral ed with her again.
and that shitface wanted us to sing christmas carol with this lame stopping rhythm in between.
sure, sing christmas carol after getting screwed by her for something that everyone did anyway?
WHATEVER LINDA TEO. its only normal for stupid people to make stupid suggestions.
and its not as if she knows how to teach.
i personally feel that she failed as a teacher, big time.
i think she feels like crap when standing beside ms kang or somethin.
she talks crap, makes zero-sense, and teaches us stuff that we already know two years back.
oh save it.
you've got rotten pieces of shit infested with maggots for brains.
I DONT NEED NO SKILLS FROM BRAINS OF THAT KIND?

2004-03-30T00:19:00.000-08:00

da weather's a real bummer.
feel like im living in da sahara desert of somethin.
supa-dupa hot, humid, shit weather.
plus this dungface who made my day.

was talking to linda teo as to why doesnt she want us to connect the tables so that we could discuss group work together and be more united like other classes.
gave me a reply which fucks me up saying, Other classes are not my class, i want my class to be like this.
i'd rather be in other classes in that case.
totally misunderstanding my point, im just suggesting?
you made me wanna say, w h a t e v e r .

2004-03-29T03:08:00.000-08:00

Some people want it all,
but I don't want nothing at all.
If it aint you baby,
if I ain't got you baby.
Some people want diamond rings,
some just want everything.
But everything means nothing,
if I aint got you.

2004-03-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

just feeling bored. hur. hur.

2004-03-16T01:27:00.000-08:00

i wished we could get back together,
someday, somehow, i'll wait for the day
to finally appear, so that we could be just as happy,
as carefree, as we were back then.
i missed those days.
funny how we used to be great pals,
from eating everyday in the canteen,
to grinning at each other when we're in deep trouble,
to defending ourselves from those disgusting singlish prats,
to gossiping daylong with our constant discoveries,
to laughing our throats out at jokes thats been repeatedly said,
and basically cant do without each other.
nobody will replace how much y'all meant to me in my heart.
i love you guys, still, and always will.

but can everything be back to as we were back then?
can misunderstandings or clear faults be forgotten,
just to have back the past that i know we all so yearned for?
i live in hope. find me there.

2004-03-11T01:08:00.000-08:00

didnt went for heats, -snickers.
am faking a migraine, again. sheesh.
bought hairdye at watsons,
then scoot home. =D

color didnt turn out that obvious,
second failure in the month. holydung.
intending to meetup with amy, cheralynn in the evening
for a show --acarcia.
turned out i overslept,
rushed like hell,
and was a tad late for the show.
nevertheless, we caught what the show was about.
stupid, stupid show. no plot at all.
arghh fugg i want my money back.
i'd rather watch the butterfly effect. -sulk.

2004-03-09T07:16:00.000-08:00

today was alright.
nothing special to comment about.
a day to live and just to get by and forget.

aftersch went pizza hut
with vic, wenying and her friend?
ate like helluva lot, lasagne, soup, onion rings.
supposed to be on a friggin diet,
but well i decided to let loose a lil, just for today. =D
and was happier, but guilty.

laters,
i just had to force myself to believe,
storeys and crunches are my best friends,
for all time. sad.

i wanna escape from heats.
aint gonna stay till a friggin 5pm
cos im running like only one event!?
maybe run and get off.
or maybe not even go at all.
suggestion anyone?

2004-03-08T05:12:00.000-08:00

monday is always soon to pass.
nice, chilly weather, so right for a nap.
its raining cats and dogs balls.
standard test was screwed.
physics was easy as hell,
but chem was hard, dead hard.
racking my rusty-o braincells but still,
da question just did not look all that familiar to me.

surprise surprise.
dad came to picked me aft sch.
if not i wouldve been drench top to toe flat upon reaching my doorstep.
amy and cheralynn was given a free ride home. lucky them.

climbed 23th storey, did 10 crunches. [or whatever you spell it]
IM FIT!
then slept till 830.
now there's a hole in my wall and rain keeps coming in.
h e l p . dont know the fucking cement spoil or what sia.
dad's rushing home like mad, cos i erh,
exaggerated a l o t. hur.
THERES A BIG HOLE IN THE WALL AND WATER KEPT SPLATTERING IN LA!
-smirks/.

2004-03-03T04:57:00.000-08:00

balls, i hate my mum.
hanged da phone like before i could ask the things i wanted to.
fuckface, helluva pissed.
so fuckin hard to buy me a decent dinner.
go to hell dungface.

victor is a pain. yes you victoria.
that gurl doesnt wanna tell me stuff about him and her,
whoever it is.
and prefers to blog cautiously incase i viewed her blog.
and i told you like everything about me?!
thanks for being sucha pal. poo pal man. humph.

check out what i ate today,
2glasses of milk and an apple.
managed to pull my eyes away from Famous Amos Cookies,
was beating myself from the inside.
but seriously i aint all that hungry now,
just normal, even when i had such pathetic food.
apple for dinner. hoh brodder.

2004-03-02T04:25:00.000-08:00

moodswings, all da way pls.
DO NOT EVER GO ON DIETING.
its da worst thing in the world. awful.
yeah and i just asked mum to buy stingray for dinner.
congratulate me.

you know,
the brain aint functioning all that well when you go on a diet.
and you tend to be lifeless, dull, and not feel like talking.
cos your already busy controlling the temptations around you.
it just feels like your life is meaningless.
but why do people still go on diet?
fuck all of 'em fats. hur.

gotten back ma progress report.
flung four subs, outta ten.
not too bad afterall.
hey wait a minute.
come to think of it, i should have failed like none.
im studying a freakin second year, at these man.
fuck those braincells of mine.
told you they aint working all that well.
ah whatever.

2004-03-01T06:04:00.000-08:00

alright, new blog with a disgusting layout.
dont ask me why, just felt like creating one.
no sch today! or so as i claimed. ;)
climbed 23 storeys all the way to my house,
as a form of exercise.
im dead beat. freakin hell.

mum's pissing the shit outta me, as usual.
fuckin mad. eat dung you dog.
wish i could say it to her. x)
yeah and get thrown outta the house.
muthafucking asswipe.
fuck the hell outta my life.

congratulations to my beloved amy,
for getting an assignment.
all the best sweets.
JUST STAY COOL.
and everything's gonna be alright.